Mad Maoris!

MeshuggaMel
Submitted by MeshuggaMel November 19th, 2009
Maoris

This is a postcard from New Zealand of Maori “warriors” ready for battle.

For those who aren’t familiar with Polynesian history, Maori warriors were known as fierce fighters. As if being big scary dudes with tattoos all over their faces wasn’t scary enough (right, Mike Tyson?) they would stick out their tongues and bug out their eyes to truly instill fear in their enemies. Then they’d beat people senseless with clubs. These guys were the Vikings of the south seas.

So, here we’ve got a depiction of the fiercest warriors around. Who did the casting for this? Who directed the photo shoot? Clearly, a lot of attention was put into accurate costumes and tattoo art, so, um, were these the fiercest guys they could find? It’s like they went out and found the Polynesian versions of Soupy Sales, Paul Lynde and Don Knotts. And there’s a fourth guy, cut off in this incarnation of this photo, but he’s got more of a Jim Nabors thing going on.

Years ago, I had the version of this postcard with the four guys on it, and I lent it to a friend to use as the band photo on their first LP. While I never got the postcard back, it was worth it for all the people who came to their shows expecting these guys on stage.

One Response to “Mad Maoris!”

  1. Allee Willis

    Allee Willis

    Yes, these are The Three Stooges of fierce Maori warriors, looking more like they just saw what they were going to have to eat on Fear Factor than possessing facial characteristics that could scare off other savages in the jungle.

    Their sashes look more Native American than Polynesian and more like they should be stretched across a coffee table with a small cheese platter and saltines on top.