Submitted by monica johnson December 13th, 2009
Certifikitsch Winner

Cabbage Patch dolls were a mystery to me, why everyone had to “adopt” them. A weird concept to begin with. I’m sure this was a doll Angelina Jolie coveted and in great numbers.

They had strange faces and weren’t particulary cuddly so i assumed they must be stuffed with heroin and started my own orphanage of cabbage patch. I wanted to hate them, but anything with a face i just cant hate (not counting Bush and Cheney and sarah palin..a side note. i think Sarah mouth is exactly like the wicked queen in snow white..check it out sometime..cruel.) I decided to put the little devils to work in my projects..this one is called DON’T FORGET TO EAT YOUR CABBAGE

The tiny cabbage patch doll came in a package from e mail, containing a full size papers of abandoned orphan. the mask jumped out and scared me at the thrift store one i put these two kind of scary things together and got the piece..i mounted it on a piece of wood i painted red. now it has a life of its own and i’m afraid to bring it in the house.


  1. Allee Willis

    Being a Cabbage Patch hater I like the thought of this one being gobbled up by a vintage rubbery clown. His tongue looks real and I love that baby Cabbage Patch, whose hair is bigger than she is, is just leaning against it.

    Are those jellybean looking things above the clowns’ ears part of the mask? It kind of looks like fungus oozing up from the wood which also makes a very nice and naturally shaped top hairline.

  2. MeshuggaMel

    Wow. This looks like some kind of blood libel against clowns. How will you feel when the clowns are attacked by raging hordes of Cabbage Patch Kids? What if Bush, Cheney and our Lady of Palin invade Clownistan to make the world safe for CPKs again?

  3. monica johnson

    Any thing the blessed trrinity from hell invades scares me to death..i dont like clowns either , in fact if i really think about it i prefer the cabbage kids to the clowns..i might change the piece around to reflect this new awareness