get_results($sql); if (count($rs)<1) // not yet added { $sql="insert into island_like (user_id, post_id, date_added) values (\"".mysql_real_escape_string($uid)."\", \"".mysql_real_escape_string(get_the_ID())."\", NOW());"; $rs = $wpdb->get_results($sql); } } elseif (!empty($_REQUEST['remove_like']) && !empty( $uid)) { // unset here $sql="delete from island_like where user_id=\"".mysql_real_escape_string($uid)."\" and post_id=\"".mysql_real_escape_string(get_the_ID())."\";"; $rs = $wpdb->get_results($sql); } /* $sql="select U.display_name, U.user_nicename, as uid, if(\"".mysql_real_escape_string($uid)."\",1,0) as is_current, if (, 1,0) as is_allee ". "from island_like as L, wp_users as U ". "where L.post_id=\"".mysql_real_escape_string(get_the_ID())."\" ". "and U.ID=L.user_id ". "order by is_current DESC, is_allee DESC, date_added DESC;"; $jealous_rs = $wpdb->get_results($sql); $user_is_jealous=0; if (count($jealous_rs)>0) { if ($jealous_rs[0]->uid==$uid) { $user_is_jealous=1; } }*/ ?>

Drunken Cucumber Man

Submitted by Nessa March 13th, 2010
slug=='certifikitsch-winners') { $is_award=1; } if ($cat->slug=='classique-d-camembert-winners') { $is_gold_award=1; } if ($cat->slug=='love-is-in-the-hair-award-winners') { $is_hair=1; } } // true added because this table will now always exist - jealous button if ($is_award || $is_gold_award || $is_hair || true) { $admin_email_pop_coa=$admin_email_pop_cdc=$admin_email_pop_liith=""; if ( current_user_can('level_10') ) { $now=gmdate("Y-m-d H:i:s"); $key=sha1("A".$now."B"); $the_title=single_post_title("", false); ?> Send Certifikitsch Confirmation Email to: ".get_the_author_meta('display_name').""; $admin_email_pop_cdc="
Send Classique d' Camembert Confirmation Email to: ".get_the_author_meta('display_name').""; $admin_email_pop_liith="
Send Love Is In The Hair Confirmation Email to: ".get_the_author_meta('display_name').""; } echo "
"; if ($is_award) { echo ''; echo 'Certifikitsch Winner'.$admin_email_pop_coa; } if ($is_gold_award) { echo ''; echo 'Classique d Camembert'.$admin_email_pop_cdc; } if ($is_hair) { echo ''; echo 'Love Is In The Hair'.$admin_email_pop_liith; } /* if (empty($uid)) { $str="Click if you\\'re Jealous!
(You must be logged in to be Jealous.)"; } elseif ($user_is_jealous) { $str="You are Jealous of this Kitsch!"; } else { $str="Click if you\\'re Jealous!"; } if (empty($uid)) { echo 'Jealous'; } elseif ($user_is_jealous) { echo 'Jealous'; } else { echo 'Jealous'; } if (count($jealous_rs)>0) { echo "(".count($jealous_rs).")"; } */ echo "
\n\n"; } ?>

I saw this on a buffet a while back and got to thinking maybe someone would like it… the “dip” was some sort of fruity stuff. Nobody wanted to eat drunken cucumber man, so everyone scooped out all around him.

4 Responses to “Drunken Cucumber Man”

  1. Allee Willis

    This is SO spectacular I’m plotzing!! I want to know the person whose party this was because this thing is so completely crazy. I love food art anyway but there are several outstanding features that make me love this more than anything:
    ‚Ä¢ The fact that he’s drunk
    ‚Ä¢ The fact that the arms aren’t attached to the shoulders and the way the ‘artist’ cut the shoulders attached to the torso is so much larger than the little skinny arms that should be attached.
    ‚Ä¢ The fact that the dip is “some sort of fruity stuff”.
    ‚Ä¢ LOVE the bottle but couldn’t they have attached it to his hand?
    • LOVE the pimento tongue.
    • Skinny Legs and All
    • Are the little olive rings on the tongue side of his face supposed to be burp bubbles?
    • Love the inside of the cucumber as a hat texture.

    If this person lived in LA I’d hire them for my next party. In the meantime, I’m pretty sure a drunken cucumber dip will be present there one way or the other.

  2. Nessa

    Oh wow, I’m so thrilled to win a Clasique d’Camembert!

    When I saw this on the buffet, I just had to take a picture. Allee, you’re not going to believe this (okay, maybe you will), but this was on the buffet at a church dinner my mom talked me into going to with her.. so there were little nuns in full habits spreading this stuff on toast, which I think makes it even more hilarious. I wonder how the sisters felt about drunken cucumber man?

    I knew you would like it, and I took the picture with plans of making one myself.

    And yes, I think they are supposed to be burp bubbles.