Send in the Hook

Douglas Wood
Submitted by Douglas Wood August 28th, 2010
Certifikitsch Winner

I knew when I saw Catherine Zeta-Jones’ rendition of “Send in the Clowns” at this year’s Tony Awards it would become an instant camp classic. Now, weeks later I still can’t get it out of my mind and have to wonder WTF?! Where the hell was her director? Why didn’t Michael Douglas pull her aside and advise her? Or are the two having some sort of bizarre competition to see who can chew the most scenery?

The constant head-turning is just baffling– who knew she had Tourettes? And I love how she milks the hell out of the mono-syllabic words, “rich,” and “queer,” bashing us over the head with the sheer weight of all that subtext. But not as much subtext as there is in “career,” which, I would assume after this performance will be a very grave concern of CZ-J’s. Stay with this to the very end, as you won’t want to miss the final, almost acrobatic head twist on “year.”

P.S. She WON the Tony for this!

5 Responses to “Send in the Hook”

  1. Allee Willis

    Allee Willis

    Don’t get me started on the lunacy that gets rewarded with Tony’s. Some of the creepiest and most out of touch things imaginable. Being at the Tony’s was one of the least pleasurable things in my career. It’s the Mystery Science Theater of live performances except they’re not in on the joke.

    Luckily the sound on the computer I’m working on is broken and I can only see this performance but can’t hear it. Not at all being the world’s biggest Catherine Zeta-Jones fan I’m glad that it’s saved me the cost of two Excedrin Migraine tablets that I’m sure I would’ve needed to take had the sound been functioning. I did flip to the end anyway to see the head twist on the last note. If only her head had snapped off.

  2. Douglas Wood

    Douglas Wood

    I live for cringeworthy moments like the one above which is why I always watch awards shows. Nothing beats big stars humiliating themselves. If anyone out there has a video of Liza Minnelli performing a jaw-droppingly awful musical number called, “Ladies Night” on the Oscars, that was supposed to be a feminist statement but would’ve been out-of-date even if it had been done in the 70’s), please post it!

  3. Lisa Rios

    Lisa Rios

    Holy crap! That’s bad. Really awful. The stupid audience is eating it up too. She deserves a Golden Turkey, not a Tony.

    Wow, that is truly craptastic!