Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Happy Fake Jan Day!! Celebrate With A Wonderful Cheese Ball!

Submitted by Allee Willis January 2nd, 2011
Certifikitsch WinnerClassique d Camembert

We are blessed here at The Allee Willis Museum Of Kitsch at to have an actual Brady in our Bunch and, as such, “Fake Jan Day” is now one of our National Kitsch Holidays! If you don’t know what “Fake Jan Day” is, Cindy Brady will explain it to you here.

Should you not decide to celebrate Fake Jan Day by dressing as a fake Jan I would suggest you simply acknowledge this most precious Kitsch National Holiday by ingesting the traditional “Fake Jan Day” food, the beloved sculptural culinary wonder known as the Cheese Ball. As far as I’m concerned, any day one has an official excuse to make a Cheese Ball is a holiday worth celebrating!

Oops, I didn’t mean those Cheese Balls.

I know the Christmas decorations are finally packed away but squirting cream cheese out of a frosting cone to enhance your Cheese Ball means that Santa gets one more closeup here at AWMOK.

It takes hardly any prodding at all to get me into the kitchen and in artistic mode to begin crafting a Cheese Ball. Were I not so lazy and overextended from holiday parties I might have even made it to the supermarket to construct one of my own so that it might serve as a veritable religious icon in the celebration of Fake Jan Day. However, YouTube proved to be a loyal assistant here, and finding enough cheese balls, both gastronomic and human, proved an easy task. So, if the holy fromage spirit inspires you to celebrate Fake Jan Day, wash your hands now and get ready to roll!

“Deep Fried Cheese Ball” – There seems to be a few steps missing here:

“Cheese Ball” – And now for the silent treatment:

“Corn Of Plenty Mini Cheese Ball recipe” – Don’t any of these people have heads?

“How To Make A Cheesy Spider Cheese Ball” – This is for Halloween but I’m sure it will keep til then:

“How To Make A Cheese Ball” – If the energy were any lower here I’d bottle it and take it to get to sleep every night:

“Pineapple Cheese Ball – Happy New Year” I’m not sure if Pineapple Cheese Ball is the name of the dish or our sparkling hostess:

I never made a cheese ball of the magnitude of the following but I did make quite an impressive mashed potato ball once:

I sculpted the ball out of mashed potatoes, hit it with red food coloring, and stuck olives, gherkins and miniature corns in for a satellite effect and then fit it on top of my 1950’s Saturn shaped coffee urn for maximum presentational effect. You can see it and other impressive food ideas in my 1991 tiny short film, “Foxy’s Tips On Love – The Road To A Man’s Stomach Is Color-Coordinated”.

Whether you make your balls out of cheese, mashed potatoes or whatever ball material you choose I hope you have a very festive Fake Jan Day today!

5 Responses to “Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Happy Fake Jan Day!! Celebrate With A Wonderful Cheese Ball!”

    • Allee Willis

      Although I’ve already seen it 637 times, the production numbers in The Brady Bunch Variety Hour are so breathtaking I never tire of seeing them. I just watched a bunch of them on YouTube again and they only improve with age. We ought to make sure that your favorite chunks are online and then have the faithful here at AWMOK watch it at the same time and leave comments here in real-time. Everyone has to have made and be eating a cheese ball.

  1. Iamfluff

    That is precisely why I created this video:
    Poor me, I did have to wade through all of the episodes to make this. Then it had syncing problems and I had to re-do it. But way back in 2004 we began the book project by forcing ourselves (Me, Ted and Lisa) to watch all of the episodes. Ted obtained three master sets where the best parts were mixed and matched (on some the audio was fading, on others the video) and made prestine sets of all nine episodes. We made ourselves watch them all back to back. To ease the pain, I made Jell-O shots. And so October 28 is now the official Jell-O Shots day. Yes, I’m big on fake holidays.

    Next year we are really going to do Fake Jan day right. This year we got caught up in the realities of daily living and neglected our fake holidays. Tsk tsk!

    Now I’m not going to rest until I get you a copy of our book! Please email me the appropriate address to send it to. You must have it! MUST!