The Fluff Letter

Rusty
Submitted by Rusty February 14th, 2011
Certifikitsch WinnerClassique d Camembert

Ok, I’m bringing out the big guns now inspired by a conversation with Allee about Fluff last night (it’s kind of long, bear with me). :)

I’ve been a fan of Fluff all my life. I grew up back East and always had a steady supply of Fluff on hand for a variety of things, Fluffernutters (natch), to top hot cocoa, and of course, my Mom’s Annual Christmas peanut butter fudge.

In the mid-90s, I moved to Berkeley, California. No Fluff available. I repeat, no Fluff available. Grocery stores tried to convince me that Kraft Jet-Puffed Marshmallow Creme was a suitable substitute for this brand they could not provide me. It. is. not. and it never will be.

Late 1995, I wrote a letter to Durkee-Mower Co. and asked them some hard-driving questions:

1) Is Lynne White, the company spokeswoman who you send a quarter to and get a Fluff cookbook from, real? I asked because she had been on the package for as long as I could remember and at some point, they stopped using her (Betty Crocker-like) image. Perhaps, I inquired, was she named for the town Fluff is made in, “Lynn”, Massachusetts and ‘white’ for well, the white stuff we know and love.

2) Why only a quarter? Cost of production and postage must be higher than that!

3) Why no Fluff in California? Something about hippies and too much health food here…

4) Where can I get Fluff merchandise?

———-

I received an answer, on embossed Fluff stationery no less…

Apologies for the quality, it was 1996 after all and my first digital camera saved images on a floppy disk. I will translate for you:

February 12, 1996

Ms. Blazenhoff:
Congratulations, you are the first writer to have decoded the origin of Lynne White’s name. She has been with us for over fifty years, but still maintains her youthful, attractive nature. She has also been fired a few times for someof the letters she has written in reply to customers complaints that were not favorably received.
I think the only reason that we charge $.25 for the recipe book is that it is too little for the mail department to steal but enough to eliminate those who want a complete freebie. Obviously, it is a loosing proposition because the booklet and envelope alone cost nearly $1.00.
Unfortunately, we have no Fluff paraphernalia at this time, but that may change sometime this year.
For your convenience, we are enclosing an order form which you can use to educate some of your California friends. It may be some time before Fluff is distributed there primarily of the introduction costs.
Thanks you for your letter and interests as well.
Yours very truly,
“Lynne White”

Cut to 2010…when I found Fluff distributed at Cost Plus World Market in Oakland, California. I waited a VERY long time to get my fix easily.

Over the years, friends and family would send me jars of Fluff. Two friends, who flew to Boston for their honeymoon, asked if there was anything I wanted from home and of course, I said Fluff. So, they thought it would be funny to bring home a case of it for me. When stopped at airport security screening, the woman asked “What is in this box?” and they explained it was for a friend that couldn’t get Fluff on the West coast. She told them she loves Fluff and was horrified that it wasn’t available everywhere. Then she upgraded them to first class.

These days, I stock up whenever I’m in Oakland and always have some for friends to try and even a jar to take home if they want. Every party I host, there is a dish with Fluff in it. Last year, my graphic artist boyfriend gifted me with an awesome pop art Fluff jar poster for the dining room. I’m not being funny when I say it makes me feel at home.

29 Responses to “The Fluff Letter”

  1. Allee Willis

    Allee Willis

    Needless to say, I am most impressed at your excellent documentation of your Valentine’s Day sized love for Fluff!! It is, indeed, a wonderful foodstuff that even those who love health food should never be deprived of.

    There’s another aKitschionado who shares your love of Fluff: Susan Olsen, a.k.a. Cindy Brady a.k.a. iamfluff here at AWMOK. Perhaps you should read her post right now and make the drink that Fluff inspired. It will allow you to enjoy your voluminous amount of Fluff even more as your brain will be fluffified upon consumption. https://www.alleewillis.com/awmok/kitschenette/2010/12/30/plastic-cocktail-toys-and-flufftinis/

    It was a pleasure being in the presence of Fluff at your wonderful party Saturday night. I guess I have to buy a few jars of it today and love it even more.

  2. Rusty

    Rusty Blazenhoff

    I’m so proud to be a Classique d’ Camembert winner! Coolest prize I’ve ever won!

    Am so thrilled that Susan Olsen is also a big fan of Fluff. Her Flufftini is an inspiration. Am thinking tonight might be champagne and fluff time with my Valentine. A Fluff Spritzer perhaps.

    Also, I have heard over the years that Sandra Bullock is a fan of Fluffernutters. The sisterhood of Fluff! Wonder twin powers unite…shape of a Fluffernutter!

    One corrective note: it wasn’t the airport screening lady…but the ticket counter lady…pre 9-11 of course…was so excited to be hammering it out, I didn’t edit that.

  3. Michael Ely

    Michael Ely

    I’m 57 years old and I have never heard of Fluff until I read this and now I want to try it. I see that there is an official Fluff homepage with an online Yummy Book and you can even buy Fluff drinking mugs.

  4. Iamfluff

    Iamfluff

    They have a fabulous sense of humor!!! SO maybe they won’t sue me when I go public with my Fluffart! They NEED Fluff swag!!
    Love the FLuff painting. Here’s some of my work it’s loaded as a blog so you have to go backward to go forward Just click “Fluffart” at the to rummage through what I’ve done so far.
    When I was at the museum of Kitsch I was inspired! I know that there will be a FLuff on velvet series one day when I get my painting chops back.
    :-)
    http://www.iamfluff.com/fluffart.html

    • MeshuggaMel

      MeshuggaMel

      Growing up in NY keeping kosher, fluff was one of the forbidden fruit, something only the goyim enjoyed, like country clubs or yachts. When I finally did try fluff, well, let’s just say that if it had been fluff falling from the heavens in Sinai instead of manna, the laws of kashruth would have been written differently.

      That said, I LOVE your art! The detail of Sgt. Fluff is brilliant, and, I particularly enjoyed Sunday in the Park with Fluff, because, fluff would never be so proudly on display among the French. They’d say they hate it and enjoy it in private.

          • MeshuggaMel

            MeshuggaMel

            Vey is mir! Has it always been kosher? You mean I was tricked into thinking it was treyf?? Now I have to reconsider all the truths of my childhood…

            Reb Fluffstein looks quite charming, btw.

            • MeshuggaMel

              MeshuggaMel

              OK, a bit more research shows that gelatin is the congealing agent in marshmallows, but marshmallow creme frequently has little or, in the case of fluff, none. Maybe it was unfairly kept at bay with its well formed, gelatinous relations? Still, one of the foundations of childhood is shaken here.

                • Allee Willis

                  Allee Willis

                  I was SO bad in Hebrew school. I loved the little notebooks you wrote the Hebrew letters in but I never nailed the language. More interested in the little candy truck that was outside in the parking lot before you got on the school bus to go home.

                • MeshuggaMel

                  MeshuggaMel

                  Dayenu!

                  Now I wonder, could the fluff concept original with marshmallows over toasted in an excessively long conversation with the burning bush?

                  There’s a lot to digest here. :)

                  As for Hebrew school, I still have trouble with the whole right to left direction for the language, and I’m left handed. Go know. If our hebrew school had a candy truck in the vicinity I might have been more enthusiastic about attending!

                  • Allee Willis

                    Allee Willis

                    I’m not sure I understand that second paragraph beginning with “Now I wonder,”. I think perhaps you had too much Fluff in your schnapps or, perhaps, got too close to the burning bush while writing it?

                    • Iamfluff

                      Iamfluff

                      But you are all realizing the profound spiritual significance of Fluff. Oh dear, must resist urge to create yet another fake religion… Resist, resist! But I am working on a devotional Fluff piece featuring Hindu Gods. I was going to make a series of FLuff being worshipped by several religions but decided it would be best to make it more of a Fluff of many lands series. Some religions don’t take kindly to parody.

                    • Iamfluff

                      Iamfluff

                      AND I am a Shiksa who was always jealous of my friends who got to go to Hebrew school. They thought I was nuts, I’m sure they were right.

                    • MeshuggaMel

                      MeshuggaMel

                      As for fluff and the burning bush, my thought is that when Moses was there to converse with god that occasionally god had to put him on hold, so to speak – I figure god must have a busy calendar what with all the smiting and plagues and whatnot. So, what was Moses to do when he’s on hold waiting for god in front of the burning bush besides roast marshmallows? At least once god would have had to get caught up dealing with some situation with the spakeths and sayeths running on and on and left Moses roasting marshmallows too long, hence burning the outside while leaving the center a smooth creme delight. Right? Right? Anyone? Bueller?

                      At least that was my thought process. Maybe it is too much fluff in the slivovtiz…

                    • Allee Willis

                      Allee Willis

                      It all sounds plausible to me. And if these kind of theories abound its enough to make me want to go back to Hebrew school, candy truck in parking lot or not.