Protect Yourself for $5.95

Submitted by Markydoodle September 20th, 2011
Certifikitsch Winner

“For police or civilian defense against robbers, mashers, etc.  Causes no permanent injury.”

Only 50 cents for additional shells.  Hell, let’s get a gross at that price.

And then after we incapacitate the masher with the tear gas, we’re gonna use the $7.95 handcuffs to subdue them.

Can anyone reading this ever imagine having one of these in your pocket like a fountain pen?

2 Responses to “Protect Yourself for $5.95”

  1. Allee Willis

    Allee Willis

    Now wait, does it fire a little pellet of tear gas? I can’t say I’d feel safe carrying this around, too easy to shoot some in your face. Though I can certainly think of a couple of my ex-collaborators who I probably would have felt better scribbling out music with if I knew my pen included tear gas.

  2. Markydoodle

    Mark Milligan

    It fires a stream of tear gas out of the cartridge. Oh I have to agree, it wouldn’t be safe around me either!

    But what I love the most is that they advertise the price of replacement cartridges, like someone is going to have tear gas warfare, and use it over and over.