get_results($sql); if (count($rs)<1) // not yet added { $sql="insert into island_like (user_id, post_id, date_added) values (\"".mysql_real_escape_string($uid)."\", \"".mysql_real_escape_string(get_the_ID())."\", NOW());"; $rs = $wpdb->get_results($sql); } } elseif (!empty($_REQUEST['remove_like']) && !empty( $uid)) { // unset here $sql="delete from island_like where user_id=\"".mysql_real_escape_string($uid)."\" and post_id=\"".mysql_real_escape_string(get_the_ID())."\";"; $rs = $wpdb->get_results($sql); } /* $sql="select U.display_name, U.user_nicename, U.id as uid, if(U.id=\"".mysql_real_escape_string($uid)."\",1,0) as is_current, if (U.id=19, 1,0) as is_allee ". "from island_like as L, wp_users as U ". "where L.post_id=\"".mysql_real_escape_string(get_the_ID())."\" ". "and U.ID=L.user_id ". "order by is_current DESC, is_allee DESC, date_added DESC;"; $jealous_rs = $wpdb->get_results($sql); $user_is_jealous=0; if (count($jealous_rs)>0) { if ($jealous_rs[0]->uid==$uid) { $user_is_jealous=1; } }*/ ?>

Grandpa’s Croaked – Cool the Fuck Down!

Submitted by Douglas Wood October 29th, 2011
slug=='certifikitsch-winners') { $is_award=1; } if ($cat->slug=='classique-d-camembert-winners') { $is_gold_award=1; } if ($cat->slug=='love-is-in-the-hair-award-winners') { $is_hair=1; } } // true added because this table will now always exist - jealous button if ($is_award || $is_gold_award || $is_hair || true) { $admin_email_pop_coa=$admin_email_pop_cdc=$admin_email_pop_liith=""; if ( current_user_can('level_10') ) { $now=gmdate("Y-m-d H:i:s"); $key=sha1("A".$now."B"); $the_title=single_post_title("", false); ?> Send Certifikitsch Confirmation Email to: ".get_the_author_meta('display_name').""; $admin_email_pop_cdc="
Send Classique d' Camembert Confirmation Email to: ".get_the_author_meta('display_name').""; $admin_email_pop_liith="
Send Love Is In The Hair Confirmation Email to: ".get_the_author_meta('display_name').""; } echo "
"; if ($is_award) { echo ''; echo 'Certifikitsch Winner'.$admin_email_pop_coa; } if ($is_gold_award) { echo ''; echo 'Classique d Camembert'.$admin_email_pop_cdc; } if ($is_hair) { echo ''; echo 'Love Is In The Hair'.$admin_email_pop_liith; } /* if (empty($uid)) { $str="Click if you\\'re Jealous!
(You must be logged in to be Jealous.)"; } elseif ($user_is_jealous) { $str="You are Jealous of this Kitsch!"; } else { $str="Click if you\\'re Jealous!"; } if (empty($uid)) { echo 'Jealous'; } elseif ($user_is_jealous) { echo 'Jealous'; } else { echo 'Jealous'; } if (count($jealous_rs)>0) { echo "(".count($jealous_rs).")"; } */ echo "
\n\n"; } ?>

Excuse me– why are they passing out fans if the funeral parlors are so “completely air conditioned?”  Maybe the “finger-grip handle” is just too hard to resist.

4 Responses to “Grandpa’s Croaked – Cool the Fuck Down!”

  1. Allee Willis

    I collect church and funeral home fans, but only of the black genre. You can see a bunch of them here: https://www.alleewillis.com/awmok/kitschenette/2010/09/30/allee-willis’-kitsch-o’-the-day-–-1960’s-church-funeral-fans-wienerschnitzel-and-the-color-purple-to/ .

    I know I have one that’s almost the exact same poses in front of the exact same stained glass window, but the races have been swapped.

    It’s funny because as many times as I’ve read the backs of these fans, oftentimes my favorite thing about them, and as many times as I’ve seen the funeral homes boasting about being air-conditioned, it never dawned on me that it was an oxymoron to hand out fans.

    Many of my fans also have this scalloped “finger grip” handle, but none of them point out exactly what it is as this one does.

    The little girl doesn’t seem to be too happy being in church.

  2. Douglas Wood

    I actually didn’t know these types of fans existed until I saw your great collection. So I was thrilled when I finally came across one (although I’m still hoping to find one in the black genre).

    • Allee Willis

      Did you check all mine out when you are over here for the Fluff party?

      All during the writing of The Color Purple I collected them ravenously. Every time Alice Walker flew down from up north and came over to hear new songs she would choose a different church/funeral fan to wave while she listened. I’m a complete idiot for not taking photos but as I was waiting for approval it seemed like I was pushing it too far. I should’ve at least snuck one with no flash!

  3. Douglas Wood

    Yes, I was lusting after your fans (along with everything else in that room). Curious to know how Alice reacted to all your other black memorabilia, especially that insane velvet painting of the Afro bongo player that lights up!