For Feathers

Submitted by windupkitty December 9th, 2012
Certifikitsch WinnerClassique d Camembert

This is pretty self explanatory. It’s another well known kitsch LP and I don’t own it myself. These days I think they sell in the hundreds. So silly. You can’t argue though; this cover is pretty special. Dr Milstein loves plants so much, he writes songs for them. What, does a girl have to dress like a rutabaga now to get a little love these days?! Maybe this is what I’ve been doing wrong all along! Thanks for the tip, my brother!

Here are the liner notes which explain this miraculous innovation. You might need a magnifying glass. Sorry about that. The basic idea is that sound vibration can stimulate plant growth. In fact, I think there is actually some merit to that, but I would have to read more about it. I have a vague memory of reading something about that being true….or maybe I’m just making that up because I WANT it to be true.

Luckily, there is someone on the planet who has decided to let us in on the audio. I was so curious. It’s not bad stuff. I’d play it myself, though minus the high frequency. There is no part of my body that needs growing, that’s for sure. And even if the growing thing doesn’t really work, I’d say it’s pretty good plant dance music. My guess is that the plants that reviewed it said things most dieters say, ” Eh, I don’t look any different, but I feel better”. Have a listen:

So, there you have it. I am eternally grateful for the plant love that lives int he heart of Dr George Milstein. He did what true artists and lovers do when they brim with affection. He pulled out all the stops and created something wonderful for the ones he loved and shared it for all to see. I, for one, actually dig the groovy record, but I certainly don’t want to know what he gets up to in a greenhouse when he is all alone. That’s between him and ferns.

2 Responses to “For Feathers”

  1. Allee Willis

    1st of all, I watched the video and there is a long high-pitched sound before it actually begins. I had no idea this was coming from my speakers and thought oh shit, I left the hose on outside. Then once the music started I realized that something brilliant had happened in the recording of the record whether intentional or not. Probably the latter as it happens between every cut. Yes I’m sure this subliminal programming went above their heads and is merely poor engineering.

    The artwork used by whoever posted the video is so wrong on every conceivable level.

    Mr. Millstein looks like he’s been eating as much plant food as his subjects.

    I’d kill for this LP. The first song slays me and is all I ever want out of this period and style of Bachrach influenced 60’s music.

    In the second song there’s a long string line that rises up and up – you know I don’t know the musical term for such things – and it stops a bar short of where I would’ve stopped it so I feel like I’m getting choked at the end of every chorus.

  2. windupkitty

    Hahaha…I know the high pitch sound is intentional. That’s what makes the plants grow. In fact, it is throughout the whole record and the actual music is only there to mask it so it’s pleasant sounding. Pretty amazing, Huh?!

    And I KNOW I actually really dig the record!!!! How can you not LOVE the swingin’ tunes!?!? They are at least funny!! And they And I love how they all vaguely sound like a mishmash of so many popular tunes…It messes with your mind…you can’t quite put your finger on what you’re hearing..

    In case you give a crap, which you shouldn’t, maybe the word you were looking for was crescendo? And the cat with the juke box!?! Love the incongruity. I think the person who posted the video deserves a camembert on his/her own!

    Thanks to the extensive (10 minutes) and I’m sure accurate research via google, it would appear that Dr Milstein was (and hopefully still is) a dentist in NY. How’s that for kitsch!? He is quite the renaissance man, fixing teeth and making records for plants. I really hope it’s all true.