Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Happy Mother’s Day!

Submitted by Allee Willis May 12th, 2013
Certifikitsch WinnerClassique d Camembert

Mother’s Day has always provided supreme opportunities for kitsch. Be it flower arrangements, stuffed animal displays in front of gas stations for last minute pick-ups, or greeting cards – store bought and handmade equally qualifying – Mother’s Day is a kitsch karousel that never ceases to go round.

Almost everything I owned growing up in Detroit was thrown out when my mom passed away suddenly when I was 16 and my father remarried. Aside from a rubber doll I got for my first birthday whose head was tied on with a string and a Ben Casey bobble head with a hole in his heart, the result of me shoving a pencil through it after an unrequited love incident at 12, I had almost nothing to remind me of the sweeter life that preceded all of this. (Which is why it meant so much to me to get back into the house I grew up in a few weeks ago.)

About 20 years ago, after years of thinking these two medically deficient dolls were the only artifacts of Little Allee that remained, my brother shipped me my old steamer trunk that had been hogging a corner of his garage since I graduated college. I had always assumed it was empty but inside was a small cigar box that contained letters, post cards, hamburger recipes, and this Mother’s Day card I had made for my mom when I was God knows how old. I hope it wasn’t too old as my interpretation of the world was slightly naive.

I have no idea what country Mekoila is right above the S. Pole and I’m happy to see that I thought California was important enough to hog the entire West side of the United States. I have no idea if I actually thought that Michigan, where I drew my happy little self in, was really the east-most state or if I forgot to leave room for it when I drew this map that looks more like a cross-section of a cow with different meat cuts in it. I hope you can see the little thumb I gave Michigan for accuracy right above my left hand. And I’m happy that I took the time to draw myself in my favorite type of pleated dress in grades 2-6:

I’m the tall one in that photo with my two cousins, Sue and Marjorie Singer. And if memory serves, that’s actually a giant Mother’s Day rose tucked into my belt that I made out of a toilet paper roll and tissue paper to give to my mom a couple of years after I made this card. My mother’s name was Rose so that flower had a lot of significance in our family.

I definitely misspelled ‘You’re’ but I’m happy to see that I gave the rose much petal definition and that the leaves look like jubilant uplifted arms as it was a very happy rose and a very happy Rose that celebrated Mother’s Day that year. I did, however, completely cheese out on the poetry I included inside. I have no idea where I copied this from but I’m happy to see that I knew enough as a budding designer to carry over the rose logo.

Thankfully in my later years I progressed to the point where I didn’t need someone else’s words to express how I was feeling.

Never one to leave space empty for long, I ended the card with a picture of a present. Of course, my mom’s only present from me that year was this card but as a first grade teacher she always appreciated the effort I put into art.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there. And Happy Mother’s Day, Rose, wherever you may be now.

17 Responses to “Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – Happy Mother’s Day!”

  1. supah

    oh allee. that is so sad to hear about you losing mom so young. i’m glad you have these tokens. your mom was obv. a wonderful woman to have created someone so fab. happy mother’s day to allee & momma.

  2. windupkitty

    This post absolutely destroys me…the sweetest thing ever…someday i’m definitely moving to mekoila!!

  3. windupkitty

    Having worked with tons of kids, I used to be alright at interpreting kid spelling…a few years ago, my little sister found her “journal” from the second grade and inside were the words: the kids got rodded and i lost my mune.

    We screamed with laughter and were stumped for hours until I translated: the kids got robbed and i lost my money. Then she remembered that a bunch of kids’ backpacks etc had been robbed and she didn’t have her few coins for lunch money. It totally traumatized her, the poor thing. When something bad happens we still say “I lost my mune (mewn)!”

    OK, so here’s my guess…did you ever want a Koala Bear or a trip to Australia? :D

  4. windupkitty

    ps I think the city of MIchigan should adopt the drawing for tourist advertising…MIchigan: the largest state in Pangaea, where everyone is happy!

  5. Allee Willis

    I’ve just spent the last 10 minutes staring at that map. I may have part of it figured out but certainly not all (if any). The “Meko” part of it may have been “Mexico” but I left the X out and the ‘i’ and the ‘c’ were so close together they look like a ‘k’. But that still doesn’t explain the ‘ila’.

    • Allee Willis

      Excellent and logical guess but I’m sure that’s not it as I remember being very excited trying to draw the shapes of the states and would have given Louisiana its own space. Then again, maybe what we think is an ‘i’ is a line giving ‘LA’ its own shape. But I really don’t think I would have put it underneath Texas and Florida. Though seeing as I left about 40 states out anything is possible. Combined with my theory about leaving the ‘x’ out of Mexico perhaps that’s it…?