Submitted by monica johnson November 25th, 2009
Certifikitsch Winner

MY FIRST PIECE was called “JESUS SAVES ON SHOES”. It features a cabbage patch doll whose legs and arms are big because she suffers from Lymphedema, whose ultimate form is Elephantitus. Jesus comes to visit with presents. He is a paper doll with cardboard backing. They are both in wheelchairs from the thrift store.

10 Responses to “JESUS SAVES ON SHOES”

  1. Allee Willis

    I’m happy to see these two wheelchaired friends. The generous Jesus allowing a Cabbage Patch to embody the Elephantitis girl while he’s just paper, allowing him to be more frail then her. I love that they’re speaking to each other and that she got all dressed up for the occasion.

    What’s in her left hand? She sho must’ve been runnin round that Cabbage Patch cuz the bottom of her feets is dirty.

    I love that Jesus is saving on shoes allowing the wheels to wear out and not his feet which need to be in perfect condition in order to receive the nails which will soon become a permanent part of his podiatry history.

    I always like signs taped on art. The less thinking I have to do about what something means the better.

  2. monica johnson

    If you want no think art. im your girl..thinking hurts my brain..but i left off one of the most significant parts..the piece has been sitting for a year. the first one..he has another card that tells her her penance (its a catholic thing) she is to say 25 hail marys and picture famous people naked…thats how catholics get to heaven..there is another very similar ritual to get out of purgatory.. but your friends have to do make sure you have good friends before you go to the other side..maybe i’ll make a purgatory piece..i have about three more girls to go then i might go to this waiting room to heaven for a bit.

  3. Allee Willis

    The companion purgatory piece is begging to be made. If you have any more Cabbage Patch dolls those should definitely be included in anything about purgatory as their stuffed stocking looking heads and limbs have done damage to my eyeballs for years.

  4. Mark Milligan

    I don’t like being forced to think. I do like seeing something that on an organic basis excites thought, and easily stimulates both hemispheres concurrently. I’m guessing you’re a natural story teller, and look forward to having you lead us on some adventures!

  5. tennwriter

    I’m imagining a cheesy banquet at a Hilton and Jesus is walking around with a name tag that says “Hi, My Name Is Jesus.”

    If seeing famous people naked is what gets us to Heaven, then I have now ascended, literally, to the title of St. Peter. Where are my wings? Damn that UPS guy.

    Another great piece, and I’ve always thought that Jesus was far too thin for a Jewish boy. He needs to eat something. This could explain why his mother had him turn water into wine–she probably also asked him to manifest some food. I like those kind of miracles. Pray for pizza.

  6. monica johnson

    yes, hes weird. YOu know he was drinking and laughing when he set out some of the rules. the one that has bothered me my whole life was purgatory and how you get catholicism at least, if you arent bad enough for hell or good enough for heaven you wait on a sort of mezzanene, purgatory..but the evil joke is friends can pray you out. what if you have no friends…i suggest hiring actors before death, otherwise you’re stuck for eternity. how weird..only a wino would think of it..omg. i better pray now..i sincerely believe he can strike us down..will you pray for me , i would surely be going to purgatory..

  7. tennwriter

    Jesus clearly had, shall we say, his issues. Jesus was actually like so many of the producers and managers and agents I unfortunately have to keep working with–good with words, unique dresser, travels with twelve guys, makes deals with devils, only relates to women (saved the hooker, had spit wiped off his face by a woman, gave his mother the good miracles, appeared after death to a woman). I think Jesus would probably work at CAA today.

    So many purgatories, so little time. I’m in one right now–it’s called development.

    Purgatory with latte.

    I will pray for you. I’ve got thirteen guys on the job.