Munakuppi Valentine

Submitted by Mooshe February 22nd, 2010
Certifikitsch WinnerClassique d Camembert

I picked this up as the last of the bottom-barrel Valentines Day merchandise after all the good stuff (namely the cordial cherries and turtle hearts) were gone.

The package reads, “Munakuppi dervied from Finald, meaning: small cup-shaped egg container.” It is actually bear-shaped. It was sold in a plastic tube with a sticker that reads Love Grows. He’s made of plaster, and painted with the kind of acrylic paint that dries in a thin vinyl-like layer that peeeeeeels off over time. His spoil pellet does not fit inside his egg-shaped head, and he comes with rye grass seeds that already drowned because the container is so small it needs to be watered with an eyedropper! Most importantly though, he has genuine cotton string shoelaces!

I love the pink elephant planter on the packaging, but when I look online I only see gray elephants. I think they doctored the packaging, because there is nothing holiday-specific to this little bear.

5 Responses to “Munakuppi Valentine”

  1. Allee Willis

    Even though it’s past Valentine’s Day as well as the fact that I don’t really understand what this object is I’m awarding the Munakuppi Valentine Grow Kit the highest honor possible here at The Allee Willis Museum of Kitsch, the Classique D’ Camenbert! This is a special category reserved for only those items that are soooooo massively Kitsch that they define the very word itself.

    Every single thing about this is perfect if you think about the kind of Kitsch that I like best: when someone has a vision and executes it to such an extreme you can’t believe they made it in the first place. From the fact that it has absolutely nothing to do with Valentine’s Day – an excellent road mark on the highway of Kitsch when a product tries to cash in on a holiday, colloquialism of the day or popular trend despite the manufacturer having made no effort at all to relate the product to that holiday, colloquialism or trend.

    Kudos all the way around to the manufacturer for not bothering to find the right kind of paint that would stick to the plaster, by the spoil pellet (I have no idea what a spoil pellet is, not that it matters for the sake of this comment) not fitting into his egg shaped head – and why does he have an egg shaped head?, to there not being enough room in the container to actually water the seeds with anything larger than an eyedropper and the piece de resistance fact that this otherwise all plaster whatever-it-is comes with actual string shoelaces. Why were shoelaces important enough to merit special non-plaster treatment?

    Oh wait, I forgot a few more things: “Munakuppi dervied from Finald, meaning: small cup-shaped egg container.” is one of my favorite things I’ve ever seen written on a package. And, is that a cupcake sitting on his head? Please don’t tell me that’s the plant.

    Is that water on the tip of his left shoe, under his eyes and chin or is whatever he/she used for protective coating just slogged on too thick? And is that a big dab of hot melt glue on his other foot so the shoelace stands in the right position?

    And what is that carrot looking figure on the package that doesn’t even remotely resemble the animal contained inside?! They could have at least gotten the nose, ears and color right.

    • Mooshe

      Thank you for the honorable Classique D’ Camenbert! I knew this planter was too good to be true when I saw the actual string laces.

      The thing on his head isn’t a cupcake or plant, it’s the soil pellet. Every other plant kit gives you a disc of freeze-dried soil that you drop into a tray, add water, and fluff with your finger to bury the seeds. This kit involved balancing the soil on his head until it was soft enough to smash into his head, and it created a big mess and wasted soil.

      Those are water droplets on him for the soil pellet fiasco. Or he’s a really sweaty bear.

      And those ARE huge dabs of hot glue to keep the shoelaces on the shoes! I’m hoping the story behind the shoelaces is they thought he his normal shoes were too uptight and he needed sneakers QUICK to be relatable. But why couldn’t they just paint the shoelaces? I guess because this is more fun! I love it.

      The plants haven’t started to grow yet, and I’m actually afraid his funny hairdo is going to end up being a mold culture instead of leaves.