“ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS” 1957

MyFunCloset
Submitted by MyFunCloset March 26th, 2010
Certifikitsch Winner

Now on DVD, this is the original B&W 1957 Roger Corman monster film that scared the crap out of me when I was 9. It was a double feature with “Not of This Earth”, just as scary. What were my folks thinking?? I had nightmares for months. Mutated by an atomic bomb in the Pacific, crabs grew to 20 feet and ate people. Don’t want to give away the plot. Note that the crab has human eyes and crooked teeth.

We saw it last night and laughed through the whole movie. My final revenge is now eating steamed king crab legs dipped in butter. Well worth seeing, try your library for a copy.

21 Responses to ““ATTACK OF THE CRAB MONSTERS” 1957”

  1. Allee Willis

    Allee Willis

    I started collecting old BAD movies almost before I started collecting artifacts. I have always been into super super bad movies and, if you can believe it, always thought that Attack of the Crab Monsters, was a little too good. I will go back for sure now and watch it to see if I’ve softened up.

    The films I love have almost no budget at all so that every time someone shuts a door the whole room shakes, if someone’s wig gets askew they spend the whole scene trying to shake it back into place as there’s no money to reshoot and the same props show up in different scenes placed on different furniture in attempts to make them look like they haven’t appeared already.

    Before Tim Burton butchered the memory of Ed Wood (in the opinion of aficionados who were into Wood before that movie came out), Wood was the king of bad films. Then there is also more recent fare like Pia Zadora’s “The Lonely Lady” in which a garden hose plays a prominent part and the same bun peers both in a bread basket in a restaurant and on Pia’s dinner table. If you haven’t seen rent it RIGHT NOW.

    I will give “Crab Monsters” another try.

  2. MeshuggaMel

    MeshuggaMel

    I haven’t seen this one (yet) but I love the title. After college I worked briefly in a seafood restaurant while playing in a band at night. One of the line cooks (I was a lowly prep cook) had clearly steamed a few too many lobsters – he was convinced that someday the creatures of the sea would rise and take their vengeance. He had a band too, and he wrote songs called “Death March of the Gargantuan Crabs” and “Low Tide Tasty Treats” and just in so the land animals got their licks in too, “Trampled by Baboons” I don’t remember any of the words to these songs and I don’t think they were ever recorded, but I recall that they conveyed his angst and fears.

    • Allee Willis

      Allee Willis

      Little Shop of Horrors isn’t even in the running when it comes the bad Kitsch films for me. It was made very consciously to be what it was. The Academy Awards for Bad Films goes to those cinematic treasures where lamps tip over when doors slam because the sets are so cheaply made, actors stand like wooden soldiers when they read their lines or completely overact, the music score is so completely inappropriate, usually overwrought, for the scene and other telltale signs that the director was driven by an ungodly sense of ambition and self belief and put together a cast and crew of similar “talent”. My post in my Kitsch O’ the Day blog that I’m posting in the morning mentions a few of my favorite bad films that I’ve been collecting since 1975. “Monster from the Surf” (re-released as “The Beach Girls and the Monster”) “The Lonely Lady”, “Attack of the Mushroom People”, “Black Shampoo”, “Plan Nine from Outer Space” and “Puma Man”. Get these films immediately for a crash course in Kitsch Films 101. You won’t be sorry.

  3. Douglas Wood

    Douglas Wood

    Like Allee, I’m a huge bad movie fan. From 1985 until about 1995 I used to gather with five friends every single Sunday evening to rent bad movies and stave off the depression one sometimes feels on Sunday evenings, with work looming the next day. We still get together but now it’s only once or twice a year due to distance and families. I kept a list of our fare and would like to share a few favorites with other bad movie aficionados. You can be sure the aforementioned LONELY LADY is on it, along with other Pia Zadora greats BUTTERFLY, VOYAGE OF THE ROCK ALIENS and her first, SANTA CLAUS VS. THE MARTIANS, and similar Hollywood melodramas like THE OSCAR and VALLEY OF THE DOLLS. Other all-time faves include: CREEPING TERROR (in which the monster is essentially a slow-moving bedspread), all of the Ed Wood films, THE CONQUEROR (John Wayne as Ghengis Khan!), EEGAH!, TROG, BOOM, GODDESS OF LOVE (with Vanna White), anything with Linda Blair (such as HEAT STREET, SAVAGE ISLAND or SAVAGE STREETS), HOT RODS TO HELL, CREATION OF THE HUMANOIDS, HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP, the ILSA series, JONATHAN LIVINGSTON SEAGULL, Movies Of the Week (such as THE KAREN CARPENTER STORY, DAWN: PORTRAIT OF A TEENAGE RUNAWAY (with Eve Plumb), BEFORE AND AFTER with obese-to-thin Patti Duke, and LIBERACE), MAC AND ME (E.T. rip-off made by McDonalds!), MARY, MARY, BLOODY MARY (with Christine Ferrare as lesbian vampire), THE ANGRY BREED, MR. MEAN, THE PIRATE MOVIE (Kristy MacNichol and Christopher Atkins), PREHISTORIC WOMEN, GOIN’ COCONUTS (with Donnie & Marie), QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE (with Zsa Zsa Gabor), ROBOT MONSTER, anything with Brooke Shields (such as SAHARA, and WET GOLD), SHE-FREAK, SONG OF NORWAY (interminable musical with Florence Henderson), SPIDER BABY, TERMINAL ISLAND (with Tom Selleck), TERROR OF TINY TOWN, THEY SAVED HITLER’S BRAIN, A VERY BRADY CHRISTMAS, MANDINGO, BRAIN FROM PLANET AROUS, KILLER WORKOUT, MONSTER ON THE CAMPUS, TNT JACKSON, ASTRO ZOMBIES, DEADLY TWINS (the Landers sisters), TWISTED BRAIN and many, many more. Enjoy!

    • Allee Willis

      Allee Willis

      >BUTTERFLY

      Just plain boring to me, Not entertainmently bad like “Lonely Lady”.

      > VOYAGE OF THE ROCK ALIENS

      Haven’t seen it in a long time so should revisit.

      > SANTA CLAUS VS. THE MARTIANS

      Classic.

      >THE OSCAR and VALLEY OF THE DOLLS.

      Too high budget for me to completely love but classics nonetheless.

      >CREEPING TERROR (in which the monster is essentially a slow-moving bedspread)

      MY FAVORITE OF ALL!!

      >all of the Ed Wood films

      Agree other then Jailbait and the later sexploitation ones.

      >THE CONQUEROR,, EEGAH!, BOOM, GODDESS OF LOVE (with Vanna White, , CREATION OF THE HUMANOIDS, the ILSA series, JONATHAN LIVINGSTON SEAGULL ,MARY, MARY, BLOODY MARY (with Christine Ferrare as lesbian vampire), THE ANGRY BREED, MR. MEAN, THE PIRATE MOVIE (Kristy MacNichol and Christopher Atkins), PREHISTORIC WOMEN, GOIN’ COCONUTS (with Donnie & Marie), Movies Of the Week (such as THE KAREN CARPENTER STORY, DAWN: PORTRAIT OF A TEENAGE RUNAWAY (with Eve Plumb), BEFORE AND AFTER with obese-to-thin Patti Duke, and LIBERACE), SPIDER BABY, TERMINAL ISLAND (with Tom Selleck), A VERY BRADY CHRISTMAS, BRAIN FROM PLANET AROUS, KILLER WORKOUT, MONSTER ON THE CAMPUS, ASTRO ZOMBIES, DEADLY TWINS (the Landers sisters), TWISTED BRAIN and many, many more. Enjoy!

      Haven’t seen these or saw them so long ago I don’t quite remember them. I see I have a lot of work to do.

      TROG, MANDINGO, TNT JACKSON

      Again, too high budget for me but staggeringly horrible.

      > anything with Linda Blair (such as HEAT STREET, SAVAGE ISLAND or SAVAGE STREETS)

      What’s the one where she’ a prison inmate – though that’s probably most of them?

      >THEY SAVED HITLER’S BRAIN

      Beautiful. Have you seen both versions of it? One has more Vietnam footage in it than the other.

      > HOT RODS TO HELL, HUMANOIDS FROM THE DEEP,

      Haven’t seen in a long time so must check out again.

      >QUEEN OF OUTER SPACE (with Zsa Zsa Gabor), ROBOT MONSTER

      Classics both.

      >anything with Brooke Shields (such as SAHARA, and WET GOLD), SHE-FREAK, SONG OF NORWAY (interminable musical with Florence Henderson)

      Absolutely.

      >TERROR OF TINY TOWN,

      Timeless.

      >MAC AND ME (E.T. rip-off made by McDonalds!),

      Hold onto your hat. I and produced wrote the main song in this, “Down To Earth” recorded by Ashford &Simpson. It’s the big dance scene at McDonald’s. Easily one of the worst things I ever did musically which is such a travesty as I love Ashford & Simpson. A couple of years ago, Michael McDonald from MAD TV screened his favorite bad movie of all time. It was Mac And Me. He practically started crying when I told him I wrote the song.

      I’m very impressed. You definitely know your stuff!

  4. Douglas Wood

    Douglas Wood

    So you’ve been holding out on us! You need to put your contribution to MAC AND ME somewhere really prominent on your site! It’s been years since I’ve seen it, so I don’t remember the music, but I’m looking forward to checking out your song.

    And it’s so cool that Ashford & Simpson were involved– in fact it made me realize you could have a new category that’s devoted to kitsch created by really talented people (i.e. you, Ashford & Simpson). God knows there’s no shortage of bad movies made by incredibly acclaimed artists (ISHTAR/Elaine May/Warren Beauty/Dustin Hoffman springs immediately to mind, but there are countless others. Even my favorite director, Robert Altman has made a few movies that are unwatchable.)

    In response to your comments– CREEPING TERROR is also my very favorite bad movie of all time. I just saw it again recently and it’s a joy from start to finish– mostly due to the voiceover narration that apparently is compensating for much of the soundtrack getting lost before the movie was released.

    And no, I’ve only seen one version of THEY SAVED HITLER’S BRAIN– didn’t realize there was another one.

    Finally– I forgot to mention one thing– have you seen THE ROOM yet? It’s now out on DVD. Tommy Wiseau is the new millennium’s Ed Wood in my book. Apparently, now that his film has achieved cult notoriety, he’s saying he made it as an intentional “black comedy” to try to be in on the joke, but clearly that’s not the case and only makes me love it more. Would love to hear your thoughts.

    • Allee Willis

      Allee Willis

      Haven’t seen THE ROOM. Haven’t even heard of it, which is a great starting point for the makings of a really bad movie. Need to track that and others down that you mention that I haven’t seen.

      I like your idea about kitsch created by really talented people as a category. The problem is that I would personally know many of the people and they aren’t necessarily aware that what they’ve created is Kitsch. And I don’t want to be the one to tell them…

  5. Douglas Wood

    Douglas Wood

    Yeah, you’re right– most people may not know they’ve created kitsch and if they have, may not want others pointing it out. Count yourself as one of the rare few who not only acknowledges the kitsch you’ve created but is able to laugh at it. (Thankfully you have a body of respected, non-kitsch work to balance things out.)

    Re: The Room and Tommy Wiseau– check out the Wikipedia entry for it and it’ll really whet your appetite. I know you like really cheap bad movies and this one cost around 6 million which is a huge budget for an indie film, but trust me when I say that very little of the $ has made it to the screen. I’ll be very surprised if you don’t absolutely LOVE this movie.

  6. Allee Willis

    Allee Willis

    Doug – I finally saw The Room! At first I didn’t think it was going to be bad enough for me because I thought too much money was spent on it and it had too much production value. But thankfully I kept watching and became MESMORIZED! Without question, as writer, director, actor and star Tommy Wiseau is my new idol. Oh man, what a trip this guy is on… The other actors were insane too. Now that I’m aware of Wiseau my goal is to stumble into him one day. People with that kind of ego translating it into that kind of art experience are people I have to meet. WOW!!

    Are you aware of Peter Carpenter, writer, director and star of one of my all time favorite bad films, Point of Terror, 1972? If you’ve never seen this movie, see it for the opening titles alone. But there’s no question you’re going to watch the rest of the film after seeing that. These directors share the same ego and every Kitsch lover on the planet ought to be thanking both of them.

  7. Douglas Wood

    Douglas Wood

    Allee– I’M SO GLAD you saw The Room and reacted as I expected you would! I knew you would love it– how could you NOT? The funny thing is that now Tommy attends many of the midnight screenings of his film and claims (or tries to claim) that he’s in on the joke and that The Room was intended as a black comedy. Yeah, right. So if you really want to meet him, you could probably just show up at one of the L.A. screenings.

    I should also mention that I found a website that sells Tommy bobble-head dolls. I ordered one and the next day Tommy invited me to be his facebook friend! (Of course I said yes.) So he must be selling them out of his basement or something!

    Don’t know Peter Carpenter but will immediately put Point of Terror at the top of my Netflix queue (if they have it.) I’ll report back to you after I see it– can’t wait.

    • Allee Willis

      Allee Willis

      Don’t need to tell you how fast I went on Facebook and became Wiseau’s fan even before I was done reading your comment! if you hear of a screening in LA please let me know. I would kill to be in the room watching that film with him actually there!

      I don’t think Point Of Terror has made it to Netflix. It’s on Amazon as a double feature though with some James Earl Jones movie I never heard of called Blood Tide for $1.10! I cannot imagine how bad a James Earl Jones movie has to be to be coupled with Point of Terror. I hope this is the same version I’m talking about but it says that it’s starring Peter Carpenter so for $1.10 how wrong can you go?

    • Allee Willis

      Allee Willis

      Forgot to ask if you know the name of the website for the bobble head. I googled it and one showed up on eBay for 25 bucks but I’d rather buy at so Wiseau was aware of the sale.

  8. Douglas Wood

    Douglas Wood

    God, we’re both so predictable. As fast as you facebooked The Fan, I did a search for Point of Terror. Yeah, it’s not on Netflix, but it’s part of a Rhino DVD collection called Horrible Horrors Vol.1. Found one on eBay that closes tomorrow so hopefully I’ll win that auction. In the meantime I’ll try and find the double feature you mentioned. Some fan of Point of Terror on Amazon described some of it and it sounds fantastic.

    Glad you found the bobble-head site– that’s where I got mine from– I’m not sure it’s actually Tommy’s site, but he must have access to it. My guess is he googled me and found out I was in the industry. With your credits, he’ll probably show up on your doorstep. I tried to engage him in a facebook conversation, telling him how much I loved his movie (not a lie) but he never responded (maybe he’s illiterate in English?)

    I’ll let you know as soon as I hear about a screening of The Room. When I saw it for the first time I hadn’t been that excited since seeing William Shatner doing “Rocket Man” at the Sci-Fi awards (which I’m sure you’ve seen, right?) I’m also in the process of getting two of my all-time faves transferred from video to DVD, and cassette to CD, and will be sending you 2 little presents once I do. All I’ll say for now is that one involves water aerobics, the other self-help songs. You will NOT be disappointed.

    • Allee Willis

      Allee Willis

      I had already seen that eBay auction by the time you wrote that! Let me know what else is on that horrible horrors DVD. I know there are two volumes of it. Carpenter made another film called Blood Mania that I haven’t seen for at least 20 years that I don’t remember being anywhere near as brilliant as Point of Terror though if a Carpenter production it couldn’t be that far off point.

      I saw that there were regular last Saturday of every month midnight screenings of The Room at the Laemmle Sunset 5 but I haven’t made a midnight screening in years. If you ever hear of any one that screen at a more normal time let me know. I absolutely wouldn’t miss it!

  9. Douglas Wood

    Douglas Wood

    Ha ha! I have no doubt you two will meet some day and become “friends” (note quotation marks.) By the way, unlike THE ROOM, you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how professional the bobble-headed Tommy is. Clearly someone else made the creative choices there.