get_results($sql); if (count($rs)<1) // not yet added { $sql="insert into island_like (user_id, post_id, date_added) values (\"".mysql_real_escape_string($uid)."\", \"".mysql_real_escape_string(get_the_ID())."\", NOW());"; $rs = $wpdb->get_results($sql); } } elseif (!empty($_REQUEST['remove_like']) && !empty( $uid)) { // unset here $sql="delete from island_like where user_id=\"".mysql_real_escape_string($uid)."\" and post_id=\"".mysql_real_escape_string(get_the_ID())."\";"; $rs = $wpdb->get_results($sql); } /* $sql="select U.display_name, U.user_nicename, U.id as uid, if(U.id=\"".mysql_real_escape_string($uid)."\",1,0) as is_current, if (U.id=19, 1,0) as is_allee ". "from island_like as L, wp_users as U ". "where L.post_id=\"".mysql_real_escape_string(get_the_ID())."\" ". "and U.ID=L.user_id ". "order by is_current DESC, is_allee DESC, date_added DESC;"; $jealous_rs = $wpdb->get_results($sql); $user_is_jealous=0; if (count($jealous_rs)>0) { if ($jealous_rs[0]->uid==$uid) { $user_is_jealous=1; } }*/ ?>

Once a Knight…

Submitted by Douglas Wood April 16th, 2010
slug=='certifikitsch-winners') { $is_award=1; } if ($cat->slug=='classique-d-camembert-winners') { $is_gold_award=1; } if ($cat->slug=='love-is-in-the-hair-award-winners') { $is_hair=1; } } // true added because this table will now always exist - jealous button if ($is_award || $is_gold_award || $is_hair || true) { $admin_email_pop_coa=$admin_email_pop_cdc=$admin_email_pop_liith=""; if ( current_user_can('level_10') ) { $now=gmdate("Y-m-d H:i:s"); $key=sha1("A".$now."B"); $the_title=single_post_title("", false); ?> Send Certifikitsch Confirmation Email to: ".get_the_author_meta('display_name').""; $admin_email_pop_cdc="
Send Classique d' Camembert Confirmation Email to: ".get_the_author_meta('display_name').""; $admin_email_pop_liith="
Send Love Is In The Hair Confirmation Email to: ".get_the_author_meta('display_name').""; } echo "
"; if ($is_award) { echo ''; echo 'Certifikitsch Winner'.$admin_email_pop_coa; } if ($is_gold_award) { echo ''; echo 'Classique d Camembert'.$admin_email_pop_cdc; } if ($is_hair) { echo ''; echo 'Love Is In The Hair'.$admin_email_pop_liith; } /* if (empty($uid)) { $str="Click if you\\'re Jealous!
(You must be logged in to be Jealous.)"; } elseif ($user_is_jealous) { $str="You are Jealous of this Kitsch!"; } else { $str="Click if you\\'re Jealous!"; } if (empty($uid)) { echo 'Jealous'; } elseif ($user_is_jealous) { echo 'Jealous'; } else { echo 'Jealous'; } if (count($jealous_rs)>0) { echo "(".count($jealous_rs).")"; } */ echo "
\n\n"; } ?>

I suspect this corny vintage sign (which was probably considered risque at one time) was made from a kit. On the back of the board is stamped, “Colors in Oil by WESTERN ARTCRAFT / P.O. Box 266 / HAWTHORNE, CALIFORNIA.” The graphic design is off (“Once a King…” is centered but “Once a Knight…” isn’t), the two lines at the bottom are outlined in white but the two at the top aren’t, and the sawed board isn’t symmetrical. I guess this was marketed for 50’s housewives to place over their beds to stave off their horny 50’s husbands.

2 Responses to “Once a Knight…”

  1. Allee Willis

    The more homemade for me the better!

    Also, the ‘a’ between ‘Always’ and ‘king’ is crooked and not centered. The ‘a’ above it isn’t centered right between the two words on either side of it either. And all four corners are different. And the king is perched much too close to “Once a knight”.

    I also really like that on the back it says ‘Colors in oil’. What colors? Oils wouldn’t do very well on this kind of board anyway.

    I have a lot of bedroom signs but none like this. Most of mine are the love meter type where you spin the arrow to see if you’re going to have sex or a headache.

    This is spectacularly bad.

  2. denny

    I’ve always loved these wooden “message signs” and grew up with the infamous one with the family of dogs. I would love to know what the pone figure is pointing to? Good one Doug!