get_results($sql); if (count($rs)<1) // not yet added { $sql="insert into island_like (user_id, post_id, date_added) values (\"".mysql_real_escape_string($uid)."\", \"".mysql_real_escape_string(get_the_ID())."\", NOW());"; $rs = $wpdb->get_results($sql); } } elseif (!empty($_REQUEST['remove_like']) && !empty( $uid)) { // unset here $sql="delete from island_like where user_id=\"".mysql_real_escape_string($uid)."\" and post_id=\"".mysql_real_escape_string(get_the_ID())."\";"; $rs = $wpdb->get_results($sql); } /* $sql="select U.display_name, U.user_nicename, U.id as uid, if(U.id=\"".mysql_real_escape_string($uid)."\",1,0) as is_current, if (U.id=19, 1,0) as is_allee ". "from island_like as L, wp_users as U ". "where L.post_id=\"".mysql_real_escape_string(get_the_ID())."\" ". "and U.ID=L.user_id ". "order by is_current DESC, is_allee DESC, date_added DESC;"; $jealous_rs = $wpdb->get_results($sql); $user_is_jealous=0; if (count($jealous_rs)>0) { if ($jealous_rs[0]->uid==$uid) { $user_is_jealous=1; } }*/ ?>

Adverts From “Top Secret” Magazines

Submitted by denny June 26th, 2010
slug=='certifikitsch-winners') { $is_award=1; } if ($cat->slug=='classique-d-camembert-winners') { $is_gold_award=1; } if ($cat->slug=='love-is-in-the-hair-award-winners') { $is_hair=1; } } // true added because this table will now always exist - jealous button if ($is_award || $is_gold_award || $is_hair || true) { $admin_email_pop_coa=$admin_email_pop_cdc=$admin_email_pop_liith=""; if ( current_user_can('level_10') ) { $now=gmdate("Y-m-d H:i:s"); $key=sha1("A".$now."B"); $the_title=single_post_title("", false); ?> Send Certifikitsch Confirmation Email to: ".get_the_author_meta('display_name').""; $admin_email_pop_cdc="
Send Classique d' Camembert Confirmation Email to: ".get_the_author_meta('display_name').""; $admin_email_pop_liith="
Send Love Is In The Hair Confirmation Email to: ".get_the_author_meta('display_name').""; } echo "
"; if ($is_award) { echo ''; echo 'Certifikitsch Winner'.$admin_email_pop_coa; } if ($is_gold_award) { echo ''; echo 'Classique d Camembert'.$admin_email_pop_cdc; } if ($is_hair) { echo ''; echo 'Love Is In The Hair'.$admin_email_pop_liith; } /* if (empty($uid)) { $str="Click if you\\'re Jealous!
(You must be logged in to be Jealous.)"; } elseif ($user_is_jealous) { $str="You are Jealous of this Kitsch!"; } else { $str="Click if you\\'re Jealous!"; } if (empty($uid)) { echo 'Jealous'; } elseif ($user_is_jealous) { echo 'Jealous'; } else { echo 'Jealous'; } if (count($jealous_rs)>0) { echo "(".count($jealous_rs).")"; } */ echo "
\n\n"; } ?>

I found that the adverts in these mags are almost better than the Hollywood gossip that is being written about here.

I do own an Accordion, maybe I should try this.

I got the fever.

I love it. A false plate in 24 hours.

I’d kill for this!

$2.98?

Ovid? What the hell?

Love this one!

We laughed like crazy over this one! Love the garters and the line, “lusty, merry recreation”.

“Scantie Panties” for only $3.98.

Love this advert and love it even more that a ad for buying a gun is right above the lady listening in on her suitor….

I’m wondering why the figure working here looks like an insect? Is that supposed to be a light bulb for a head here?

This is the kind of image I once had on my inked up backside but have since had her covered up.

Nervous spells, fainting spells, restless, moody, I think I need this product.

This blows me away and I just know that these fabulous artifacts ended up in garbage somewhere. This I would kill for, well not really….but it is quite fab.

No thank you but still a cool ad.

Hope you enjoyed the tour!

2 Responses to “Adverts From “Top Secret” Magazines”

  1. Allee Willis

    As far as I was concerned, the ads in the back of magazines were always better than the stories themselves. I was a sucker and ordered lots of stuff, all of which never worked, broke and were very cheaply made. I’m sure I would have gone for the Listen-in Coil and the set of luggage for less than three dollars had I been reading Top Secret, which I wasn’t. It also always amazed me how things like music lessons and false teeth were mixed in with sex themed ads.

  2. denny

    The back of old magazines was a whole other world. I’m not old enough to remember ordering anything from the back of them but they sure do fascinate me. I’m a huge fan of vintage lingerie adverts!