Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – High Heel Carrots and Hearts Of Palm

Submitted by Allee Willis January 25th, 2011
Certifikitsch Winner

I’m always amazed how all these pickled vegetables end up perfectly arranged in a bottle let alone in a glass high heel shoe. I never understood how ships were stuffed into bottles so I certainly don’t get how perfectly dissected relish foodstuffs end up stacked as precisely as Busby Berkeley dancers in glass enclosures. This high heel needs to be a segment on the Science Channel’s “How It’s Made”.

Weighing in at 4 lbs. this is no delicate little ladies foot!

Although the detail of the pearl ankle bracelet is quite the feminine touch:

In fact, all the details on this fashionable hors d’oeuvre stuffed foot are pretty fantastic. I love that they even allowed extra glass for the sole:

But why wasn’t this a pearl onion and caper stuffed heel?

Although that would’ve taken away from the perfect arch of the vegetables:

And how long did it take to hand stuff all those pimentos?

My whole life I’ve pretty much gone through phases of only wearing a certain type of shoe for a period of years and then flip to something completely different. From tiny tot through my teenage years my fascination was with penny loafers, white bucks and patent leather T-straps.

I know it’s hard to see that that’s a penny loafer but trust me, it was.  With a dime inserted into the penny slot, never a penny. Every now and then, saddle shoes would creep in.

But the big saddle shoe phase didn’t really hit me until I started writing songs in the 70s.

I believe “September” was written in those very shoes. They were red and white. I had every possible combo of saddle shoe – red and white, brown and white, blue and white, black and white, white on white, brown on beige, many in suede as well as leather, and all as vintage as possible. I still have big plastic boxes filled with at least 40 pairs of them that I wore exclusively from 1974 through ’79.

The only time I ever really wore high-heels was when I went to school dances. My feet were always as uncomfortable as I was, toting around the gallons of hair piled on my head.

For the last decade or so I’ve been obsessed with Nike Zoom Flights like these:

Only one of my shoe phases have ever included high heels, beautiful vintage 1950’s ones, but if forced to wear them again, a pair of these hearts of palm, carrot and pimento ones would be what I would wish for.

9 Responses to “Allee Willis’ Kitsch O’ The Day – High Heel Carrots and Hearts Of Palm”

  1. k2dtw

    This is a fab post… Love the glass slipper…how do they do that?
    The photos are just wonderful… I love this so much.. So cute, I Love your bike.. and the photo with the saddle shoes and the great wire fish on the wall!!
    Like Oprah, are your going to surprise us all one day that you and Elayne Boosler are Half Sisters??…smile

    The director chair photo is so great!! I love your hair!!…I love everything, the socks, the saddle shoes, and the “W” is to die for..
    Your shirtwaist & heels photo is so sweet, in that great period perfect living room. The pole lamp, and the armless sofa with the artistic pile of silk pillows is fab!!…
    I’m glad to see you’re no stranger to the wrist corsage….smile..

    • Allee Willis

      Funny you should mention Elayne Boozler and link to that particular photo. We became friends in 1974 when I was the hat check girl at the comedy club she regularly performed at in NYC, Catch a Rising Star. We had identical hair except that mine was more pyramid shaped. We spent A LOT of time carrying on in the coat check room! Richard Belzer was the MC and holed up in there with us a lot too. Still friends today.

      That great period perfect living room was at 18292 Sorrento, Detroit 48235.

      • k2dtw

        Really???…Incredible!! I love Elayne, I always thought her stand-up was so smart and so funny. I just love the way she thinks.
        I can’t even imagine how funny she must have been playing the “coat check room”… I’m dying just thinking about the three of you kibitzing together!!!..

  2. denny

    Don’t tell me that! I love, love, love Richard Belzer. He’s one of my favorite characters from “Law & Order”.

    As for the high heel here, well, I could never wear high heels and believe me I tried. I don’t have one picture of me wearing heels but believe me, I nixed the pic of Allee here to make it my new desk top wall paper. That dress and those shoes are killing me.

    PLEASE let me rummage through whatever family pics you have the next time I am out there. Your hair is so amazing and makes me feel like I am looking at a “hair rocket” because of the amazing size and height!

  3. Celiene

    A fabuolous feat (foot?) of gastronomical construction! I wonder if anyone ever opened one and ate the contents?

    • Allee Willis

      Jealous. Though I’m on my way to some of the best barbecues ever on earth at Abraham McDonald’s house. He’s a phenomenal singer – won Oprah’s big talent hunt on her show a couple years ago – and is an astounding cook. Drooling as I write this…