Shameless Plastic Letter Opener

Douglas Wood
Submitted by Douglas Wood March 6th, 2011
Certifikitsch Winner

Madison Avenue could learn a few tricks from the  folks at Salesian Missions, a Roman Catholic religious order who gave out this cheesy plastic (fake ivory) letter opener with the hopes of receiving donations.  The copy reads, “Can you take my little brother?  He doesn’t eat much” and one almost feels compelled to rip the letter opener out of the package and stab oneself in the heart rather than consider the desperate fate of the adorable orphans on the package.  

7 Responses to “Shameless Plastic Letter Opener”

  1. Allee Willis

    Allee Willis

    If I hadn’t read the text on the packaging I would’ve had absolutely no idea that this was a letter opener. What a bizarre coupling of product and cause!

    I wonder if they raised a lot of money? It’s not exactly a cheap product to manufacture and package. Also, what a crazy line, “Can you take my little brother? He doesn’t eat much…” I could understand, “ Can you help my little brother?” but offering to give him to me is a whole other matter.

    • BeeJay

      BeeJay

      Agree, that line also hit my buttons. I´d be okay with the question “Can you help my little brother?”, but “Can you take my little brother?” in combination with that letter opener is leading to a lot of strange visions.

      Vision #1: “Yes, of course we can take him. You can change him for this cheesy plastic letter opener.”

      Vision #2: “Yes, we can take him, he seems old enough. He can work in our factory in Korea where he can make more of those cheesy letter openere for us.”

      Vision #3: “No, we can´t take him, but if you donate $5 we´ll give you this cheesy plastic letter opener and you can stab him with it.”

      Why a letter opener should remind you of orphans? There are only bizarre answers to this.

      • Douglas Wood

        Douglas Wood

        I see you’ve given this a lot of thought. Nice to see my kitsch listings provoke altruistic dialogue on serious matters. Maybe if everyone went out and bought a cheesy letter opener, we could achieve world peace.

        • BeeJay

          BeeJay

          I wonder what tempted them to choose a letter opener. Maybe they thought that´s something really everyone can use?